A Pursuit of Passion

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Have you always known your passion or  did it unravel itself to you as you grew older and had more encounters with the Universe?

My name is Ntombizesintu and this is my story.

In the beginning of my high school career, I definitely struggled with finding my identity and where I belong. In that environment, factors such as culture, social standards, lifestyles and attitudes made it hard for me to understand the meaning of the phase I was in then. I also struggled with understanding why the public education system was designed in the way it was  because it hugely impacted my view of the world and governance.

I felt like I didn’t belong for a larger part of my high school career and that’s how I got drawn to books. I started spending all my recess breaks in the library, reading newspapers and books. Books were a wonderful escape from reality. I found humour, inspiration, light and motivation in literature. I felt like the characters of the novels invited me into their lives and I could travel to destinations I aspired to see – yet I was in a library couch and outside was the noise of high school teenagers chatting and roaring with laughter the whole break through.

I think through reading, I discovered little parts of myself. I read books on philosophy, psychology, social activism, classic literature, feminism and art. These were topics I was deeply interested in and they helped me gain insights on the psychographics of people and why they think the way they do. In fact they help me comprehend the dynamics of social behaviour a little more.  By reading these educational books, I fed my thirst for knowledge and was I inspired to incorporate all the information I’ve gained into my English essays and presentations.  This led in me discovering my true passion:  literary art.

The world of writing.  The world of creativity. The world of creating art. Wow! A world full of magic. Because that’s how writing felt to me- it was like unleashing the magic inside of me. From my imaginative brain to my passionate heart to my tingling fingertips to my pen that is full of so much potential, and finally to my pure paper.  I could manifest my creative thoughts and reach out to teenagers’ hearts and minds. Sometimes, I liked to believe to I live in my own world – crafted by myself. It was my coping mechanism. I found humour, inspiration light and motivation in writing.

As I grew more and more fond of writing, I started writing with a purpose. A person to inspire, awaken and enlighten because I truly believed that my pen and paper were the greatest weapons I could use to bring about change. In my senior years, I wrote about topics I felt strongly about like black empowerment, women empowerment, the public education systems and mental health.  I even started gaining the courage to deliver these speeches in front of audiences that consisted of headmasters and education department authorities. I felt like I had unleashed the power of my voice – and it was revolutionary.

The Healing

As painful and hard as it was in my final year of schooling, I knew I had to work hard to beat the odds. I had to give it my all because I was determined about the path I wanted to take – as it was my only gateway between the present and the future. I had to come to terms with my high school career and be thankful. I was thankful because it built character in me and shaped the young woman I am becoming today. I learnt some of the most valuable life lessons that only experience will ever teach you. And that is something I will carry throughout my life.

The Rebirth

I closed the chapter of my past and the time came for me to put all that emotion and drive into action. The fire inside of me – I had to do something with it. And currently, I am doing it through my creative work.

Today I am in a wholly different environment where there are diverse attitudes and cultures and lifestyles and aspirations. I am pursuing an undergraduate degree in a subject that I thoroughly enjoy and am intrigued by. I just want to learn more and more because it feels you’re being awakened with every new chapter. I am in a happy space and I am much more conscious of how we create reality with our thoughts.

Through my journey, I came about to writing the following poem titled, Never Forget To Say Thank You. Sometimes we take life for granted and don’t realise that every challenge we come across – no matter how hard it is – is to build us and prepare us for something greater. On the journey of fulfilling your passion, there is a process of healing, a process of rebirth and a process of learning to be thankful for being driven by that passion because it eventually leads us into finding our true purpose.

Never Forget To Say Thank You
Never forget to say thank you for waking up in the morning and walking outside to admire the sight of dawn.
Never forget to say thank you for breathing in and out the morning fresh air every day.
Never forget to say thank you for smelling the fragrance of the flowers and the salt in the air as you get closer to the sea.
Never forget to say thank you for feeling your heartbeat and those of your loved ones too.
Never forget to say thank you for the missed opportunities you wanted so badly when the Universe was preparing you something for greater.
And never take for granted the gift of being alive and being able.

 

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  • Daniela Hohlbaum-Alachuonye

    Hello Ntombizesintu 🙂 I just found your blog and I love this article a lot! It is motivating and I enjoyed reading it. There is one note I have about your affirmations: wouldn´t it be more positive to say always remember to say thank you .. ? 🙂
    Thank you for sharing your journey!
    Much Love Ela (from ela.everybodylovesafrica)

    • zesintu mgobhozi

      Hi Ela! Thank you very much for this. I’m glad your’e enjoyed it 🙂