Nobody has all the answers all the time. Life, you soon realise, is a series of trials and errors. Some strategies work really well; others are an epic fail.Yes, when we were daydreaming or jotting down our grand plans in our diaries when we were teens, I bet you wanted to have a Phd, a Merc, nice house and two kids by the time you turn 23. But, here we are, sort-of 25, maybe an undergrad degree, perhaps a junior position at some obscure company, and relying on public transport to commute to and from work. Where did it go wrong? Where is the mansion? Why are men trash? Nobody knows. And that’s the best part.
So often we feel that we lack or aren’t great because our dreams are taken longer to come true. We look around us, and everyone else appears to be #BlackGirlMagic goals.
A short story: I’ve been wondering how to go about approaching two people I truly admire to become my mentors. I’ve read every Forbes article on mentorship, but I still haven’t taken the leap of faith and ask them to mentor me. As I grapple with imposter syndrome and anxiety, I receive an email with the subject ‘mentorship request’. My initial reaction was to laugh, and dismiss the well-meaning student. Then it hit me -we’re all in the same boat. Everyone is looking for answers, and to some, it might appear as though those who are ‘doing it’ have the solution.To her, what I do and where I work is #BlackGirlMagic goals. I feel I’m not…Yet.
And I know it feels like nothing is going your way right now, and all your attempts to take a step towards greatness is met with “We reject to inform you…” emails.
It feels like the more you ‘try and try again’, you fail more than you succeed. But I believe it gets better. It truly does. Trying to do well, attending classes, slaying that internship, nurturing that small business, that’s magic, dear black girl. There’s this annoying quote that pops on my timeline everyone now and again, but it rings true now. I’m paraphrasing here but it says ‘Life doesn’t get easier; you become better at dealing with it” or something to that eye-rolling effect. I guess I’m saying right now, where you are, you’re doing okay. You’ve gotten this far, and that is one answer you have with you. Don’t be too hard on yourself. We’re all winging it.
Illustration by Nicholle Kobi | All GIFs from GIPHY